Taking One Confident Step at a Time

The other day, my husband and I were driving somewhere, and we were having conversations with each other. I was appreciating him for all the skills he has, how good he is at certain things, and how confident I was in his ability to excel in whatever he does. Then he went on telling me how good I was at certain things and how he felt so confident that I would succeed in all the pursuits I take on.

 I paused for a moment there to think about how we both have high beliefs and confidence in each other, yet when it comes to ourselves, we doubt. And I told him, “How wonderful it would be if we both had this same level of belief and confidence, we have in each other on ourselves!”

Have you ever noticed how gentle and encouraging we can be when talking to our loved ones, be it friends or family? We readily point out their strengths and express so much confidence in them. We are often their mentors and coaches and tell them things exactly what they need to hear at the moment, pump them up, and boost their self-esteem and confidence. I am sure all of you have done it, I have done it, and I do it all the time! Yet something that we all do instinctively, we fail to apply to ourselves.

Just like anyone else, I struggle too. I doubt myself. I have all these worst-case scenarios imagined for myself inside my head. I am often unkind, fearful, and doubtful and I question my own ability. And even before I actually attempt something, I will fail myself in my head! But I notice people around me telling me how good I am at things I do; how confident they find me and point out all the positive things I refuse to see for myself! Whenever people appreciate me for the things, I am good at, I tend to downplay my strengths and let doubt take over. Sounds familiar?

Honestly, with the amount of books I have read so far, people I have met and had conversations with, everyone, no matter how good they are, or how successful they are, they all have some degree of self-doubt and self-esteem issues. So, I want you all to know that self-doubt is a common experience shared by people of all backgrounds and levels of success. Acknowledging that we all experience some degree of this common experience is the first step towards working on it. Intentions and actions then follow the acknowledgment.

One of my friends in the book club repeatedly says she is so good at communication. And as a matter of fact, she is. I think her brain truly reciprocates to her beliefs about herself and she can carry herself with so much confidence in any given situation. One thing I have learned from her is this simple yet powerful practice- repeating positive affirmations to ourselves and aligning our actions with our beliefs. Our brain is incredibly receptive to positive self-talk, what’s the harm in harnessing its power?

So, the next time you find yourself doubting your abilities, remember the encouragement and confidence you give to others. Channel that same energy towards yourself. It's okay to have moments of self-doubt; we all do. But let's not let those moments define us. Let's be our own cheerleaders, our own coaches. Let's replace self-criticism with self-compassion and positive self-talk.

Just like my friend in the book club who affirms her communication skills, let's all find something positive to repeat to ourselves. Let's align our actions with our beliefs in our capabilities. Our brains are remarkable, and the power of positive self-talk shouldn't be underestimated.

So, here's to being our own biggest supporters, cheering ourselves on through the highs and lows, and embracing our journey of self-discovery and growth—one confident step at a time.

We got this! 😊

See you in the next blog post!