20 Lessons from My 20s: Part II

Hey everyone,

I hope you had a chance to read Part I of my blog post on 20 Lessons from My 20s. If not, no worries—you can check it out HERE!

I’m excited to share Part II with you, so let’s dive right in:

1.  Be mindful of the information you consume.

Your thoughts are shaped by the information you take in throughout the day. The more negative content you absorb—whether it’s from people, social media, or news platforms—the more your thoughts can become clouded by negativity. On the flip side, surrounding yourself with positive influences can lead to a more optimistic mindset.

Since I started regulating my time on social media, I’ve found I have more time to spend on other activities. I’ve used this extra time to read more books and listen to podcasts and interviews with authors and people I admire. The quality of my conversations with others has noticeably improved since making this change.

Maya Angelou once said, “Read ceaselessly. Read. All knowledge is spendable currency, depending upon the market. You’ll be amazed how it will serve you.” I live by this quote and can attest to the truth in her words. I encourage everyone to do the same--Read!

2. Positive self-talk has a powerful influence.

My book club buddies have taught me many things, but one lesson that has always stuck with me is the power of positive self-talk.  One friend in particular often expressed confidence in her communication skills. She is, without a doubt, an excellent communicator, but I also noticed how intentionally she reaffirmed her abilities in every meeting. It seems her subconscious has fully embraced her positive self-talk, and her confidence radiates as a result.

I, on the other hand, have always been a good communicator, but I often let self-doubt creep in. However, I’ve decided that enough is enough! These days, I constantly remind myself how good a communicator I am, and how smart and confident I am. Since incorporating more positive self-talk into my daily routine, my confidence in my abilities has increased significantly.

So, my advice to you is to pay close attention to what you’re telling yourself. Catch yourself when you say things like, “I’m so stupid,” or “I’m an idiot.” Don’t let those negative thoughts take root in your subconscious. You are smart and confident. Believe in yourself and reaffirm these truths. Remember, you are your own best cheerleader!

3.  Trend vs. your own decision-making.

It’s so easy to get swayed by trends, especially with the presence of social media. Our major life decisions—whether it’s getting married, making big financial choices, investing, or even having babies—can be influenced by the trends around us. I’ve often heard people say, “Oh, so-and-so got married,” or “So-and-so bought a house; I feel like I’m falling behind in life.” Just because someone around you is doing something or because it’s trending doesn’t mean you need to do the same.

The best way to avoid being influenced by trends is to assess your own values. What’s truly important to you, and how can you align your actions with those values? In one of my earlier blog posts, I mentioned that experiencing the wonders of the world is one of my top priorities right now. Regardless of what others may think about my life choices or concerns around my "ticking biological clock", I’m content with how I’m living my life.

4.  Everyone is scared.

Last year, I was invited to be a panelist at a conference. Initially, I was excited, but as the event date approached, Imposter Syndrome kicked in. I started questioning my abilities and felt nervous. However, the day before the event, during a preparation meeting with the other panelists, I realized something important: even a veteran in my field with over 20 years of experience was nervous. Since then, I’ve had similar conversations with several seasoned professionals who admitted they too, feel fear and anxiety.

Stepping out of the comfort zone is daunting for everyone—why should I be any different? People often push forward despite their fears. The more I practice, the less daunting it becomes. So now, even when I’m scared, I remind myself that I’m not alone—everyone else likely feels the same, at least to some extent.

As Michelle Obama writes in The Light We Carry, “Possibilities and growth lie on the other side of fear.” I’ve embraced this mantra. Once you get comfortable with being afraid, you never know what opportunities might arise.

5. Invest in yourself.

As we move through life, we often get entangled in various responsibilities—jobs, family duties, parenthood, caregiving, and more. While these are all important parts of life, it’s crucial to take care of ourselves in a holistic manner so that we can show up for these responsibilities as our best selves. We can only do that when we prioritize our own well-being. So, invest in yourself—whatever that means to you.

For example, at this moment, my biggest investment in myself is in my fitness training. After dealing with shoulder and back issues last year, I realized that physical therapy alone wasn’t a sustainable or realistic solution for me. So, I began working with a personal trainer to strengthen my body. Beyond improving my physical fitness, this commitment has also greatly benefited my mental well-being. I’m grateful that I’m able to do this for myself.

Investing in yourself can take many forms, depending on the individual. It might mean setting aside time each day for self-care activities like meditation, walking, journaling, or simply taking a break to recharge in your own space. It could also involve going on vacations, getting a massage, or spending a day out with friends. No matter how you choose to invest in yourself, it can have a positive impact on your mental and emotional well-being.

So, take a moment to consider—what can you do to take care of yourself daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, or even yearly?

6. There is no shortcut to life.

We often look at successful people and focus on their current state of being, rather than exploring their backstory. Every successful person has gone through their own struggles and hard work to reach the heights everyone eventually sees. I’m convinced that a lot of effort happens behind the scenes, rarely coming into the spotlight. Truly, there is no shortcut to life. With time and dedication, you too will become an expert at what you do. Trust yourself and keep working hard.

7. Timing is everything.

Life doesn’t always unfold exactly as we plan, but often, the right things happen at the right time. During difficult periods, it’s crucial to keep building the foundational blocks of your life. True breakthroughs require consistent effort and preparation. While it might seem superstitious, I’m increasingly convinced that there’s a divine timing for everything.

Earlier this year, I interviewed for a job I felt certain I would get. When I didn’t, I was disappointed for weeks, replaying the interview in my mind and questioning what I could have done differently. But just a couple of months later, a colleague at my current job nominated me for an Outstanding Achievement Award, which I won—a significant honor. Not long after, I got to be a part of a national initiative through one of our projects, an opportunity that could steer my career in the direction I’ve always hoped for. I’ve never been clearer about my professional path.

When I put all these events together, I realized how much I had worried about something that, in the grand scheme of things, wasn’t as important as I thought. If you put in the effort, great things are bound to happen for you. We might not always see the bigger picture, but that doesn’t mean good things aren’t happening. Trust the timing and always give your best.

8.  Life has no guarantee.

In just the past couple of years, I’ve seen many young people within my family, extended relatives, and friends’ families pass away for various reasons. Life truly has no guarantee. I know this may sound morbid, but it’s a stark reality: people can go to sleep and not wake up the next day. It’s unsettling to realize that a significant number of people die in their sleep. This harsh truth makes me reflect on the kind of life I want to live. Given that life offers no guarantees, even if tomorrow were my last day, am I living a life I’d be proud of? Am I doing the things I love and value? Am I connecting enough with my loved ones? Are my actions and values aligned with what I truly want out of life?

9.  Celebrate all small and big wins.

We often get so caught up in pursuing the next big thing that we forget to celebrate our achievements. I’ve done this many times—reaching a milestone only to find my mind immediately shifting to, “What’s next?” This habit has robbed me of the joy in the present moment and added unnecessary stress. Once I recognized this pattern, I have made a conscious effort to pause and acknowledge each achievement, no matter how small, and to celebrate in whatever way I can.

I don’t know if it’s cultural, but we’re often taught to downplay our successes. We’re told not to brag or are met with remarks like, “What’s the big deal? So-and-so has done the same thing.” These kinds of comparisons and the tendency to downplay our achievements can make us hesitant to celebrate, especially the small wins that accumulate over time.

So, don’t forget to celebrate your wins. There will always be another big goal to chase, but while you’re pursuing it, take the time to recognize how far you’ve come and give yourself more credit than you usually do.

10. Love is powerful.

I used to think the idea of love being all-powerful was just something people said in movies, books, and songs—until recently. When something terrible happened to someone close to me, I realized how much the lack of love in their life had contributed to it. This got me thinking about my own life and how much love I’ve been lucky enough to receive, especially from my family. I can still remember random days from my childhood when I felt surrounded by love, and those memories have fueled me ever since. It turns out, love really is everything. Being loved by someone (not just romantically) is a blessing. Don’t forget to count that blessing in your life, because it’s a pretty big deal.

Well, those are my top 20 lessons from my 20s. Thank you so much for stopping by and taking the time to read them. I’d love to hear your thoughts—if any of these lessons resonate with you, please share in the comments below.

See you in the next blog post! 😊